My Turn To Be Angry

I've not felt this way for a long time. Can you love someone and hate her ways? Yes, we've all heard it before isn't it, like God loving us but not our sins. But when you've experienced it yourself, this is a very strange and comflicting emotion.

If you want a feel of the roller-coaster emotions I've been through lately, please read my earlier posts on Affirmations, Which Way and God's Touch.

I've been doing patch-works in my team these days, playing the peace-maker for everyone and when everyone is sort of settled, then, voila! It's my turn to be angry! The first time in 15 months since joining this company that I was really angry!

In the past, I could be heart-brokened, tired and disappointed, but my wrath was always short-lived because God's grace would break through somehow. But two nights' back, I've had enough! Throughout the evening with this person, I kept hearing repetitive self-pity whinings and complaints about the job, the customers etc. Worse than these, the same offensive impudence leveled at me whenever she's in a lousy mood! What did I do to deserve this disrespect when I've been kind and nurturning to her all along?

The problem between us has blown over since then, but I'm left with this bitter after-taste. I'm seriously considering letting her go. I still love her and can't imagine leaving her totally alone, but I can't stand bearing with her recurring insolence and mood-swings anymore...

Yes, I still love her, if you have any idea how far we've come since day 1, I can cry this very moment... but I'm sick and tired of her ways. I do worry for her, but at the same time, I would like to stay away...

Can you imagine this! "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son" You hear it?! God is loving the entire world! Do you know how many people there are in the entire world, and all through the centuries? And loves them to death!

My point is, it's so tiring even to love just ONE!

God's Touch

Our God is real and alive, but sometimes lost in outer space... Though you know that He cares, to the extent of knowing the number of hair on your head, being concern with the minutest details of your lives, yet when you are in a pit for too long, you'll begin to doubt Him... like in my case, when I begin to doubt whether He has indeed placed me in the ministry where He has placed me...

Dragging my tired body to bed on Saturday night, I prayed, "Lord it has to end soon for I badly needed a break." Sleep came past 1 a.m. and and a nightmare ensued in the early morning. Waking up with fatigue I sent a message to my team that I would not go down to the field after church service on Sunday. But, I changed my mind after a cup of coffee. Caffeine works wonder!?

No, I just couldn't let go. I needed to see how my charges (people whom Christ has placed in my care) are doing. Somehow on the way to church, I was inspired to pray, "Lord, I will do what You want me to do, to my last breath, till my last step (even when I'm flat out on my back)." Running through my mind was a image of a guy guarding the Cross of Christ in this wonderful flash video "Duty" from donghaeng.net

One of my charges who attends church with me brought along her friend! Her simple act encouraged me. Then during worship, the songs ministered to me. The lyrics resonated with all the thoughts God has placed in my heart this past one year. "Press on, continue the good works for Christ no matter how hard the journey". "You're a vessel, made and chosen to serve." "Place your life on the altar (again)" During communion time, the short admonition given was, "The things we do right and wrong in our lives are like many pluses and crosses, but no matter how many crosses we've accumulated, there is now therefore no comdemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus". These are the affirmations I needed to hear; God's stamp of approval, mandate to continue, comfort, counsel and hope. I took in everything and knew in my heart that it's a right decision to go down to the field, again...

What confronted me in the field was the same human relationship problems.

However, I went door knocking with my first charge for a few hours, and dated another for dinner for another 2 hours. In the midst of work, I listened to my first charge as she poured out her worries and concerns about her future and offered my point of view. She felt better after that, I hope.

During dinner with my second charge, I listened wide-eyed to his horrific and frightful accounts of abuse he'd endured as a child. As he exposed his emotional scars at the dining table in a busy market place where human traffic swirled around, I detected a slight tremor in his body and when I touched his hand, it was cold, clammy and damp. I listened intently as he related incident after incident of child-abuse and shuddered. As he talked and I listened, our eyes were hardly dry. Towards the end, I reached out to hold his hand, then we clasped our hands and prayed. I prayed that God would heal his memories, his wounds and that he would know God and His peace and joy, and that God who loves, knows and preserves him would bless his future and not let anything he has endured gone to waste and would make everything work together for good. After this, he walked with me to my train station and we parted. He left only after when I was totally out of his sight.

My heart aches for this young man, how could any parent do such things to their child?!

I reached home near midnight with joy and thanksgiving! I was thankful that I'd gone down, and once again, be used as a vessel, a channel of blessing to those He loves. They are beset with bad memories of past hurt and fear for their future. I couldn't do much, but only listen to them, be their sounding board, comforting and affirming them, then, I remind them of God's sovereignity, sometimes bringing them to God's presence, and let the Lord minister to them Himself. Only God can meet their needs.

I'm contented to be Andrew, who brought Peter to Christ. Praise God! And may the Lord God keep them and preserve them to the end, and let no one snatch them out of His loving hand!

Affirmations

The situation in my ministry is getting complex and sticky. Human beings are complex and sticky. While I was comforted by God's words from 1Co 9:22-23 "To the weak I became weak, that I might gain the weak: I am become all things to all men, that I may by all means save some. And I do all things for the gospel’s sake, that I may be a joint partaker thereof ", I'm remorseful of the ways I'd responded to some of the things in the past...

I'm confused about what had happened and how much I'd contributed to the mess, and whether I was misled etc.. I really wish I can put an end to all these now. I really wish to just turn over whatever unfinished work to Christ and leave for a while. Anyway, I don't see myself helping out much nowadays, I've cracked my mind thinking of all sort of means and ways to help my charges in their work, but they are not progressing now, being beset by personal problems beyond them. I've counselled them to no avail. I feel so useless. Even bringing them to Church now seems riddled with new problems.

Everyone in my team is disheartened with poor business and broken relationships. I'm sick of it.

But my spouse interrupted my thoughts with this, "God's ways are higher than yours..." Yes, while I feel overwhelmed, I would like to affirm that God is sovereign and know my thoughts and ways. He has used me, a cracked pot in this ministry and knew the mistakes I would make, and still, He has chosen me to do it. I shall continue to believe that God is in control, that doors which He has opened, no man shall close. God will have His way, and God will take care of those He loves, and those He loves through me.

Which Way?

I've not been blogging much lately because of the confidentiality of the burdens I'm carrying. It concerns the lives of others and I can't simply blurt it all out in my blog, although the people concern will most probably never get to read it...

This morning, I've spent some time reading other Christian blogs and these brothers and sisters in Christ have certainly blessed me one way or another, but I'm too tired to link their blogs here to acknowledge what a blessing they've been to me, may be another time.

Things they have said that encouraged me; that we must continue to share Christ, that we should not be afraid of evil forces... my mind is so muddled now that I can't recall all, but the essence is, fight the good fight...

As children of God, you and I are not alone. We have God on our side and we have a whole horde of brothers and sisters all over the world living their lives out for God. This is an encouraging thought.

In my own ministry, where just a few weeks' back I thought I knew exactly what God had wanted me to do, NOW, I'm lost again! I'm lost because I've discovered that many things that had happened in the past weren't what I'd thought them to be! I'm referring to the facades that men put up, truths half told (which didn't form the whole picture) and I felt I've been misled by the very people I've helped. I've analysed the situations over and over, and I own up to the fact that it takes two hands and sometimes more than two hands to clap. I've done wrong in a number of situations based on my failure to comprehend the entire situation.

I've lost trust in some people. I still love them. I was weary and now I'm also wary. I need wisdom. My desire is to continue to do God's will, so please pray for me for the courage to continue and discernment to know what to do next. Thank you.

Loneliness

I will never forget a simple but impactful greeting card which I've seen years ago. It was drawn in cartoon and it conveys an endearing and encouraging message that is applicable to all who are downcast.

It shows a dejected little lamb sitting helplessly by the lake, looking despondent and staring aimlessly into the water. In its misery, it has failed to notice that its reflection has that of Jesus sitting by its side! Lo and behold, the invisible Good Shepherd has in fact an arm around the little lamb, quietly supporting and comforting it!

That card speaks volume! And it is still speaking to me today.

Are You Like Jesus?

I whole-heartedly agree with this statement spoken at the beginning of a DC Talk song, "What If I Stumble", on their "Jesus Freak" CD:

"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowlege Jesus with their lips then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyles. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."

And I, sometimes, stand condemned, if not for His saving grace!

What is your Jesus like? Does He count His cost? Does He count His loss? Does He grumble? May the Lord help us stay true to Him. Be reminded of the Jesus Whom you're following, what He is like, and what you should really desire to be...

God's EXTRAVAGANT Love

God loves you 100%, you need to hear His reassurance over and over again...

Doing Right Doing Wrong

I've lived long enough on planet Earth to be able to discern what's right and wrong! Or do I?

Well, there are times when I got confused. Recently I've done something drastic in a moment of fury to help a friend. I thought it was a good deed and though it seemed to have better the life of the one I'd helped, my action had disrupted and derailed the lives of others.

This burden gnawed at my conscience for many a days until a preacher shared on Mark 2:1-12. It was the story of 4 men who carried their friend, a paraplegic to Jesus for healing. When they reached Peter's house where Jesus was in, they couldn't get in because of the crowd.

So what did the 4 men do? Return home and come again another day? Wait for their turn? They couldn't wait, they refused to wait and they made a drastic decision. They climbed up to the roof of the house and hacked it opened till they could lower their friend to Jesus' feet. They didn't care what others thought of them, ignored the shouts and fury of others to stop hacking, and perhaps risked being hauled to court later on for damaging Peter's property. Because of their determination and love, their friend was ultimately healed by Jesus.

There and then at that moment when this story was re-told at the pulpit, my eyes moistened. I was touched. The preacher was teaching another sermon with that story but God ministered to me in another way.

Imagine, would you approve of such anti-social behaviours? The vandalism of property? The audacity to interrupt a conference where Jesus was the guest-of-honour? And not waiting in line for one's turn? Would you? But Jesus did not reprimand the 4 men. He overlooked their rashness and had his eyes fixed on the man in need ...

I cried because I felt like one of the men. I'm so thankful to God for looking beyond my mistakes and blessing my friend...

Counting Your Hair?

How much hair have you got? Do you bother to find out? No? Sure, you've got better things to do, I understand...

Now, why do I ask such a stupid question? Because it's mentioned in the Bible that God knows the number of hair on our heads! Imagine everytime you pick up a comb and an angel is poised to count your hair loss! Hilarious isn't it? Why the heck does God care about hair? He cares for the sparrows, and not one falls to the ground without His knowledge, well that I can understand, but our hair?! Why does He bother to keep a record of it? Really why?

I don't know why except to be amazed at God's great interest in every minute detail of our lives.

It's like the way a new mom adores her baby. She loves her infant dearly and tenderly care for all parts of his little body from head to toes. Perhaps this relationship is a glimpse of how God cares for us, except that His love never changes, and He continues to care for us from infancy to old age, from newborn hairlessness, to lustrous crown of glory, and to baldness again.

I'm musing on this hair thingy after reading Analisa's post, I'm so unlucky where she shares that nothing is co-incidental in our lives because God cares. She doesn't believe in luck, and neither do I.

Nothing that has happened to us or that'll happen to us escapes God's eyes. He's in control and He lovingly guides us in His will which is perfect for us.

Cast your burdens to Him all ye heavy ladened for He cares for you.

Love Before Righting Wrongs

Ah, this title reflects my sentiments indeed! We have a tendency to reprimand people for their mistakes rather than to be gracious and forgiving.

I witnessed this at work two days' back when both my colleagues were doing a sales presentation together. The senior colleague was the main presenter while the junior colleague was to entertain the children and keep them occupied so that their mother could have a peace of mind to listen to the presentation. However, the junior colleague absent-mindedly let one of the kids ran off unknowingly, thus distracting the parent who went looking for her child instead. The presentation stopped and she was angrily ticked off by her senior.

It happened again yesterday while she partnered me, again the kid ran off without her knowledge and I asked her to go after him. Thank God that I didn't loose my head, and thank God that I wasn't at all angry because it is scientifically proven that children run faster than you can follow, they kinda possess super power, it takes just a second for them to disappear into thin air, puff... and they're gone, kids will be kids.

May I emphasize here that I'm not blowing my trumpet. I could have reacted the same way my colleague did but I didn't because God has placed a love in my heart for this younger colleague and has specifically told me to take care of her.

"Love before righting wrongs" Love is patient and kind, love forgives, and love does wonders, in us and in others. I pray that God will always help me place love above anything else, above lost sales and lost income. (For the record, I've not lost that sale yet, I've yet to follow up on the parent)

Who would you listen to, look up to, who would you follow and learn from? The one who chew you up or the one who let you off when you make a mistake? I've tasted time and again God's forgiveness, Jesus' compassion and the Holy Spirit's solace, may I extend the mercy I receive from God to those whom He loves through me.

Forgive me if I should fall and fail you in the future Lord, but please help me not to hurt those whom you love through me that your work in them be not undone through my mistakes ...

Poisoned Mind

Bigotry is a poison and it is contagious if fed to a weak mind. Thank God I'd surrendered all known prejudices to God some months back when I followed through the 7 steps to Freedom in Christ prayer.

I contacted an acquaintance today to get a phone number. I explained to her that I'm trying to help out a foreigner whom I've recently got to know. She told me that she had lost that phone number and we chatted for a while. Then a few hours later, she called me and implored me NOT to have anything to do with this foreigner because people from this country can't be trusted, because they are ingrates, because she has had dealings with them and those were bad experiences, because so and so's husband was stolen by a woman from this country, because ... and she went on and on. And I was so appalled that I did something which I had to repent of later, I lied. I told her I HAD TO GO and good bye.

That conversation left a bad taste in my mouth. It stirred some feelings that I once had with regard to foreigners from this country. But I've met and made some friends with people from this country and they are good honest people!

Am I to let the poison of bigotry get a hold of me again? NO! By God's grace I shall resist that. I'll need wisdom how to help this person, and I need a huge dose of God's love. I've said that when you dare to love, there's a chance that you'll be hurt one day by the very person you love and help. But if we're to keep counting the cost, we'll be immobilised.

He's the potter, I'm the clay, mould me and make me, this is what I pray. I've decided and will pray through this feeling, come what may, whatever the disappointment if it'll ever happen, I'm going to do this for God.

Winning Souls

No one is ever won over to Christ because he/she looses an argument with us, Christians.

May God reduce me to love, over and over again.

Love makes one vulnerable, to the hurts, pain and loneliness of others. Love hurts and can be painful, but look to God for healing and comfort... His grace is sufficient for you.

Awfully Weak

Dear Heavenly Father,

I feel awfully weak, awfully small, awfully unskilled, and exceedingly challenged to do the simple tasks you have laid before me that I want to cry.

I want to cry because I feel awfully incapable of doing the good works you've prepared for me to do. Yes, you've promised that your grace is sufficient for me, yet I feel so alone, so inadequate.

I'm surrounded by so great a witnesses, so many unbelievers with so much differences. Your Spirit has shed your love in me and through me for them, but I feel totally floored by the enormity and the accountability of the responsibility.

What if I say the wrong things to them? What if I fall before them? What if ... And what if I should fail in your mission?

Send me help Lord, I need someone to work alongside me and I'll do my best to do your Will. Send me help Lord, willing heart and willing hands. I also need the encouragement to continue.

I'm indeed small Lord, what the heck can I really do for you here? But you've your purpose. Now please calm me down, empower me just to do what I can do, and leave the rest to you. I can't work with such anxieties. Show me how to do what you've purposed for me to do, and how to trust in you.

So with my two fishes and 5 loaves of bread, I offer up my services to you, I offer my imperfect life and faith to you, Lord, use them for your glory, thy will be done.

Pray Lord, strengthen my faith and determination, increase yourself in my life that your purpose be achieved. Thank you for this life you've given me Lord, this journey you have led me thus far. I only pray Lord, that I can achieved something worthy for you before you call me home, I don't like to waste anything, particularly my life Lord.

This is all I could pray, and much more is there unspoken for I know not what and how to pray. Even my prayer is imperfect. Thank you Lord that you can do exceedingly abundantly in all that I ask for. So I commit all that I think and do into your hands, guide me and lead me, especially when I'm confused whether I'm doing the right thing or heading in the right direction. Guide me Lord.

In Jesus name I pray.

Amen.

Regeneration

In response to my last posting, Neen has commented,

"Jane, because I've met too many "Christians" like the one you've mentioned, I avoid them. But there ARE those who set an example of Christian love and living. My best friend, YOU. I feel peaceful when I read your true love and spirit of Christ.*HUG*"

I thank Neen for her kindness and friendship. Being addressed as a "best friend" makes my day. Thank you Neen. :)

However, I can't bask in this compliment. Why? Because I'm too modest? No ... Simply because I know I don't fit the bill. I've a temper and I am the type who can shoot off my mouth without thinking. I've my 'fair' share of experiences hurting people. Why? Because I'm imperfect. Why are Christians like this? Let me throw some light on this ...

Who are the Christians? People who are kind, good and gentle? Well, we're supposed to be like this isn't it? We're supposed to resemble our Saviour, Jesus Christ who is meek and gentle. But fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and pre-believers have to understand this, that while Christ IS perfect, we are NOT.

So the question remains, who are we? We're sinners (just like anybody else, but) SAVED by grace, God's grace. Anyone can receive God's grace through faith. So, we're just a category of people who recognize our sinful state and are willing to receive the righteousness ascribed to us through Christ.

When we say the sinner's prayer, we receive Christ as our personal Lord and Saviour. That's salvation. We have been sanctified by the blood of Christ! We have His righteousness ascribed to us, not through our own doing, because we can't. And that is just the beginning! We still look the same, behave the same and think the same most of the time. The next stage is regeneration, which is when God takes our entire lifetime to mould us. Those who are more obedient grow faster, but some just grow old and never grow up. The last stage is glorification and this is the time when we reach the end of our life's journey and we see Jesus face to face. This is the time when He will complete our salvation and make us like Him.

In my pilgrimage, I've fallen several times and have many regrets in my life. That's why I've posted the Christian's experience as a cracked pot and an incomplete building earlier.

The brother I wrote about has a painful childhood, so that could have affected his present state. He is often defensive, but perhaps that's due to him having to fend for himself growing up without a father ... I don't know.

As for me, I was given away twice in my first year of infancy. I was brought up in a dysfuntional foster home. My foster mum was physically and emotionally abused as a child. In turn, she abused me emotionally for many years though she did so unintentionally some of the time. I'd cried myself to sleep so many nights. All my pillows were tear-stained. After becoming a Christian in my adolescence, I was still curt and hurting for many many years before I could better control my temper. I thank God for His faithfulness and mercy, bearing with me all these years.

I am still a house under construction. I am now wise enough to know that I can never be too old to learn, and should NEVER stop learning. When I know I've a wrong attitude and I just can't change it, I would pray to God to help me be willing to be changed. Because I'm not a gracious person by nature, God always have to take months to get through to me, but eventually, God is able to help me see things His ways and supply me with His power to change. And I'm changing slowly, line upon line, precept upon precept till the day I die.

Jesus came to save the loss, the gamblers, the thieves, the ladies of the night, ANYONE, who is wise enough to accept His forgiveness and salvation. This is a free gift. He is still knocking on the doors of many hearts, to receive Him. He doesn't care what you have done before, but how, with His help, you can receive pardon and the abundant life He has promised you. He doesn't want anyone to perish.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. If anyone feels God's prompting, you can receive Him now with this prayer where ever your are. :)

So Neen, I'm really ... you know ... but God is not finished with me yet! :)

SOS

I re-visited my former cell group last Friday to test waters, wondering if things would be slightly improved. Sadly, things remained the same; same prominent member who laid down all the rules, spoke most of the time, same restrictions and same problems. Members I spoke to after the meeting expressed discourgement and bewilderment. This group's fire is about to be snuffed out.

I've forgiven him unreservedly, so I'm not being vengeful here. But what do you do with someone who thinks he's doing God's work, but is in fact destroying it?

I'm drawing one lesson here - don't ever become so 'spiritualized' to the point of spiritual blindness. You can never share God's love like this. God is gracious and does not rule with an iron hand.

The children of God bears His fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, godliness, gentleness and self-control. The fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives bear testimony to whether we're walking right with Him. The law never changes man. It is His sacrificial love that changes man.

I must pay more attention to my life and attitudes to make sure that I'm indeed following Christ.

A Faithful God

Have you seen a house under construction? It's messy and unfit for living. Then after completion, with new paint, stylish furniture, bright curtains etc. it's instantly transformed into a home sweet home. While under construction, only the architect can visualize what the finished product will look like. Others just see bare bricks and mortar.

And the same goes for our lives. Only God knows our end.

I was troubled lately by a series of events, and was very disappointed with others and myself. I've lost my peace and sometimes it almost seems like my Heavenly Father has turned His back on me. But it's not true. My doubts are not from Him.

In my devotional prayer just now, I was apologizing to Him for being so slow in my Christian growth, and He gave me this verse from Philippians 1:6, "And I am sure that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ".

Then I ponder, many of us are diligent and faithful in delivering our work, how much more will a faithful God complete what He has begun (in us). I'm encouraged once again.

Only a faithful and loving God can see the masterpieces in us while we are still under construction. Praise God!

Happy Birthday To Me

You're invited to coffee fellowship,

and at the same time, you're welcome to

join in my celebration.
Now clear your throat and sing with me:

Ahem ...

"Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to MYYYSELFF ...
Happy birthday to Meeeeeeee ..."

Now isn't that wonderful? I am 51 years young! Praise the Lord! Praise God for tolerating my existence for so long, heeheehee. Given Him a lot of trouble in my life. Thank you God for loving me so. I love you for you have first loved me.

Coffee, anyone?

My Cup Overflows

While I busy myself with life, God gently asked me one morning, "What do you mean by half full?"

I have an earlier post on the importance of looking at the blessings in our lives and not focusing on the unhappy part, that we should be able to see a cup half full and not half empty ...

I was surprised when I heard Him. Oops, He's interested in my blog! Better be careful what I'll post next! :)

"Huh?" I responded.

"My cup OVERFLOWS ..." was the reminder, THEN I suddenly remember Psalm 23:

Psalm 23 (English Standard Version)

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Praise the Lord oh my soul, and all that is within me, praise the Lord! Yes, my cup runs over, my cup overflows, with a job, without a job, in good times and bad. I do entrust my soul to a faithful Creator, my Lord Jesus Christ.

Salvation - Accepting Christ

Here's a testimony on God's grace and salvation ...

I believe that God exists, that He is my Creator and that He loves me. I believe that He knew me when I was secretly wrought in my mother's womb. I believe that He knows my future and is keen on minding my welfare and guiding me through life. Therefore I turned to Him and accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour.

And I believe that He loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life too if you would turn to Him. I believe that He longs for you to know Him so that He can help you, no matter how stained your life has been before.

My Saviour has proven Himself to be a faithful God to me. He has led me through many difficult situations in my life and has been very patient with my shortcomings and failures.

I was born into a dysfunctional family and was immediately fostered out to two different families within my first year of infancy. The last family I stayed with was yet another troubled family. I grew up with many a tear-stained pillow. It was God's grace that'd preserved my sanity during those growing up years. And it was God's love that'd restrained me from many a foolish act of rebellion.

I am truly thankful to God and without any intention to offend you, I would like to bless you by inviting you to receive Christ too.

New American Standard Bible:
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life."
John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today and forever. He has died on the cross for your sins and you are forgiven if you'll receive Him as your Saviour. If you have the desire to live a more fulfilling life and to taste the goodness of God, may I encourage you to invite Christ into your life by saying a simple salvation prayer now?

God knows your heart and is not concerned with how you phrase your prayer. Just pray like you're talking to someone. As long as you confess with your lips and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be able to receive Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour.

The following is a suggested prayer (that I'd modified from the Four Spiritual Laws booklet):

"Dear Lord Jesus,

I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins.I open the door of my life to You and receive You as my personal Saviour and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. From now on, please take control of the throne of my life and make me the kind of person You want me to be. Thank You for your salvation. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

If you have said this prayer meaningfully, you have become a child of God! Praise God!

The next thing to do is to get in touch with a local Church and let them know that you are a new Christian, and in need of further guidance to know God better.

Thank you for taking this step of faith. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Hokkien Worship Song

Hear this song from Kelvin Soh, a former drug addict. Even if you don't understand Hokkien (a Chinese dialect), you will be touched by his sincerity and earnestness. His, is a life totally transformed by God ...

Here are the lyrics in English and Chinese:

Hold my hand, Lord Jesus
牵我的手，主耶稣
Protect and watch over me I pray
求你保守和看顾
Guard my heart and direct my steps
保守我的心，顾我的脚步
To follow you faithfully
忠心跟随你道路

Hold my hand, Lord Jesus
牵我的手，主耶稣
Open a way for me I pray
求你为我来开路
Step by step, following your footprints
一步又一步，跟你的脚步
Untroubled by the tough road ahead
不怕路途多辛苦

CHORUS:
Lord Jesus, oh, Lord Jesus
主耶稣，啊主耶稣
I want to be Your disciple
我要做您的门徒
Lord Jesus, oh, Lord Jesus
主耶稣，啊主耶稣
I want to be Your disciple
我要做您的门徒

And for those who think you're hopelessly trapped in some forms of addiction, do surf the net for Kelvin Soh's testimony. He was a hard core drug addict, and if God can help him, God can certainly help you.