If you want a feel of the roller-coaster emotions I've been through lately, please read my earlier posts on Affirmations, Which Way and God's Touch.
I've been doing patch-works in my team these days, playing the peace-maker for everyone and when everyone is sort of settled, then, voila! It's my turn to be angry! The first time in 15 months since joining this company that I was really angry!
In the past, I could be heart-brokened, tired and disappointed, but my wrath was always short-lived because God's grace would break through somehow. But two nights' back, I've had enough! Throughout the evening with this person, I kept hearing repetitive self-pity whinings and complaints about the job, the customers etc. Worse than these, the same offensive impudence leveled at me whenever she's in a lousy mood! What did I do to deserve this disrespect when I've been kind and nurturning to her all along?
The problem between us has blown over since then, but I'm left with this bitter after-taste. I'm seriously considering letting her go. I still love her and can't imagine leaving her totally alone, but I can't stand bearing with her recurring insolence and mood-swings anymore...
Yes, I still love her, if you have any idea how far we've come since day 1, I can cry this very moment... but I'm sick and tired of her ways. I do worry for her, but at the same time, I would like to stay away...
Can you imagine this! "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son" You hear it?! God is loving the entire world! Do you know how many people there are in the entire world, and all through the centuries? And loves them to death!
My point is, it's so tiring even to love just ONE!