29.11.09

Sales - A Lesser Job?

Once, an ex-classmate saw me selling books at a counter and exclaimed, "No need lah!" which is our way of saying, "I'm sure you can do better than this, why suffer!" I cringed.

Perhaps it's my cold acting up that I'm a little melancholic lately, toying with the thought that perhaps I should move on to a more respectable job? A sales job isn't the most sought after job in my country. Many people look down on sales people. There is not one single sales-person out there who doesn't have a story to tell of his/her client from h*** .
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It's funny how basic courtesies are discarded when people meet salesmen. I once visited a family that let their dog barked at me without restraint while they expect me to tell them the purpose of my visit above the din. When I couldn't make myself heard above the ferocious barking, the man arrogantly waved me away. I left after glancing at the huge cross hanging on their front door.
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And my colleagues had it worse when they were literally 'swept' away during a home-visit. They were talking to the man of the house at the door while the woman of the house stood between them and swept dust right onto their feet! In Asian culture, this is the worst insult! You sweep dirt out of the house, NOT people.
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Each time I face rejection, I take them in my strides as part and parcel of my job, but I can't help feeling a sense of disappointment when someone disregard another fellow human being with such disdain. And when I meet Christians who misbehave thus, my disappointment doubles.
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May God have mercy on snobbish people that they won't find themselves retrenched and soliciting for sales on the streets! Then, there are nice people who, by choice, choose to be gentle with us, offering us drinks, treating us as guests, may the Lord richly bless and reward these kind souls, many of whom aren't Christians.
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So, while my ex-classmate misconceives that I'm down and out, she has no idea that I've chosen one of the most challenging careers in the world! I know God is working out His plans in my life through this job and as long as God is with me, I don't care what others think of me. :)

25.11.09

Saviour, Please

Are you burdened and heavy laden?
Let the lyrics of this song minister to your weary soul:

Savior please, take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long it'll last

Chorus:
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all that I have

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Hallelujah
Is everything I'll ever need
Hallelujah
And I'm learning to believe
Hallelujah
That I don't have to prove a thing
Hallelujah
'Cos You're the One who's saving me
Hallelujah
I try to be so tough

How Much Longer?

Waiting ... I've labored hard these days for two important things; my job and someone's salvation. Both are slow in bearing fruits. My patience has been stretched and tested, sometimes to the breaking point. My faith wavers. "Was it really You Lord who have called me into this???"

Then, each time I doubted, encouraging thoughts would come in, like, "What is seen is transient, what is unseen is eternal", "All things work together for good, with those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." "It is more blessed to give than to receive." And simply, "Hang on."

I know in there somewhere, in my mind, heart or intestines, that it is not time to leave the two goals that have sustained my enthusiasm these past 6 months. Nothing has been accomplished yet! At least, nothing that can be seen has been accomplished yet. Yet, something inside says that I can't go yet.

Doubts came when I counted my costs, in terms of time, money and effort. Goodness, I'd toiled for the past 6 months, and earned nothing in the balance! You know, taking away the expenses etc. from my income, I'm left with nothing, may be even a negative number!

I'd told myself a few months' back that hey, some missionaries are working with no financial support and over here, I've an opportunity to earn an income while I witness for the Lord, I'm better off! ... Yes, I acknowledge, I'm indeed better off than many worthy children of God who risk life and limbs for our Saviour, and here I'm whining...

But, I can't help it. I'm only human God and I'm so tired. I've worked my butts off literally, I used to have a round butt, now it's flat! Perhaps You can spend a little less time on my hair, and start counting my sales? Please?

Ah, I'm not dictating what God can do in my life... God is not my God if He can't have His ways in my life, and His ways are always good, and yields far-fetching results beyond our wildest dreams. I'm just tired, and I shall just eat, drink and sleep, and eat, drink and sleep again till I gain enough strength to run the next 40 days and 40 nights like Jeremiah did!

18.11.09

Blog Recommendation

This is an advertisment: I'm recommending this blog, Blest Atheist by Elizabeth Mahlou for reading, in particular this post on God's Will. Her blog will bless you, trust me ;) .

16.11.09

Tired

This is a confession, I'm tired trying to do God's will, or what I perceive as God's will. I did what I thought He has led me to do, but time and again, when it seems when the time for harvesting is near, that I realize it's no way at all near! What has happened to all the seeds I've scattered? My time, sweat, labour and tears?

There's a Chinese saying, that says my good works have gone to the dogs, and you've not appreciated the things I've done for you! I shouldn't be whining, I know. I've no right to whine because you've not asked for my help, but I've initiated it. You're human and you fail my expectation, but I'm human too, and I fail MY own expectation. Sheesh...

Well, I acknowledge, I'm just plain impatient. God has indeed roped me in in His good works for men, and at the same time, my God is molding me along the way. I still feel like a child, His child in the molding and I'm glad He bothers with me...

Ah, I'm running out of fuel, spiritual and emotional fuel, even my physical strength is failing, and my back hurts! I may have wandered away from God's leading and did things my ways and in my own limited strength. What shall I do next?

I shall rest in God, slow down, pray, be quiet as a child in her mum's bosom, step back a little, and see if God will show His next move for me... I'm always so full of actions that I may just rush in to work out all my plans, but really, for now, I'm thinking, I should just mind my own business, no, not that I shouldn't care anymore, but I've done all I could to help this person out that I know not what else to do. I shall leave her for a while, nurture my own spiritual walk with God again, and sharpen my skills at my job and contribute to my company's sales. I commit her into God's hands.

As best as I remember, the Bible says in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and rely not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall make straight your path."

I'm so tired, God please quiet me down.

14.11.09

10% 90%

Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.

1.11.09

Your Brother Is Better Than Mine!

Some memories make me smile and this is one of them...

One day several years' back, something noble inside Yong prompted him to say to Wei: "You know, I think your brother is better than mine!"

Blinking and without skipping a beat, Wei replied coolly, "Nah! YOUR BROTHER is better than mine."

Yong repeated sincerely, "No, no, no, yours is DEFINITELY better than mine."

Wei modestly declined and insisted, "NO, I say yours better!"

Yong, "No, yours better!"

Wei, "No, yours better!"

And they continued till the cows come home while I was bent over laughing in the background. Yong and Wei are brothers, my sons. :)