30.11.08

Hokkien Worship Song

Hear this song from Kelvin Soh, a former drug addict. Even if you don't understand Hokkien (a Chinese dialect), you will be touched by his sincerity and earnestness. His, is a life totally transformed by God ...

Here are the lyrics in English and Chinese:

Hold my hand, Lord Jesus
牵我的手,主耶稣
Protect and watch over me I pray
求你保守和看顾
Guard my heart and direct my steps
保守我的心,顾我的脚步
To follow you faithfully
忠心跟随你道路

Hold my hand, Lord Jesus
牵我的手,主耶稣
Open a way for me I pray
求你为我来开路
Step by step, following your footprints
一步又一步,跟你的脚步
Untroubled by the tough road ahead
不怕路途多辛苦

CHORUS:
Lord Jesus, oh, Lord Jesus
主耶稣,啊主耶稣
I want to be Your disciple
我要做您的门徒
Lord Jesus, oh, Lord Jesus
主耶稣,啊主耶稣
I want to be Your disciple
我要做您的门徒



And for those who think you're hopelessly trapped in some forms of addiction, do surf the net for Kelvin Soh's testimony. He was a hard core drug addict, and if God can help him, God can certainly help you.

29.11.08

Communication, Mis-Communication

She walked in, head held high and instructed impassively without a smile, "I've ordered pizza, when it comes, call me!"

I was busy completing an assignment for my reporting officer when I looked at up this staff from another department. I reacted instinctively in an annoying way, "Who are you?!" (Well, I was rather displeased, you didn't greet me, didn't bother to find out my name, you'd obviously made a request, but didn't say 'please', and you expected me to know who you are like you are some big shot, and goodness, you ordered me like I'm your subordinate!)

She was a little taken aback by my frankness and told me her name and phone extension number. I simply responded that I wouldn't be around to wait for her pizza after 12.30 pm. She took note and left.

As I continued my work, I couldn't help but simmered inside, "Why should I be bothered with your lunch? Shouldn't you just wait here for your pizza? I've better things to do then to attend to your pizza! At least have the courtesy to order an extra one for me then may be I won't be so angry, sheesh, what attitude is this ..." My mind wouldn't shut up!

Ah, I discovered later that the pizza was ordered for an official function and not for personal consumption, and she wasn't too happy to be mistakened, yet these bad vibes could have been avoided if she has had the common sense to be polite in her initial request.

IF she had said something like this, "Hi, you are new here, may I know your name? Oh, hi Jane, I'm so-and-so, hey Jane, I've ordered pizza for an event, when the pizza arrives, could you please give me a tinkle? (smile, smile) Well, thanks". IF she had requested thus, I wouldn't have been so worked up.

On the other hand, I concede, I should have been more proactive to avoid a misunderstanding. I should have found out more details from her instead of allowing myself to react instantly. It takes two hands to clap, be it creating a problem or avoiding one.

Ya, 'tis a lesson I'm still learning - be slow to anger. Sigh ...

26.11.08

Do You Lie?

"Say they're not in" someone advised me.

"I shall not lie" I responded.

"Well I'd said it already" she replied.

"But I won't lie" I insisted.

"A white lie is ok" To this, I simply smiled and continued my reading.

This brief conversation kept me thinking. I was like, "Oh dear, was I too blunt in my response ...? Did I unwittingly hurt her feelings?" I didn't mean to judge anyone, but I just made my choice, NOT to do something I was not convinced of.

Do I lie? Have I ever lied?

Well ... I'm a saint. Ahem. ;)

Clarification - it's God who calls me a saint, I didn't call myself one, bleah, but was a sinner saved by grace! I'm fallible, of course I've ever lied, sometimes, to save my chiny chin chin. I'm not holy holy that I won't ever succumb to wrong-doing when things happen so fast that I can't think straight. Yes, this happens, as much as I'm also trying to do the right things. But I won't pre-determine to lie.

If in a moment of weakness, I do or say things I shouldn't have, then I've indeed slipped and sinned. But I'm not going to consciously accomodate lies in my daily life.

Ah, blogging is therapeutic, the load's off my chest now, I shall go to bed, good night.

14.11.08

Work Like A Pro

Been thinking ... how often have we, in the course of our work, grumbled about the things we have to do or about the people (supervisors, colleagues or clients) we have to serve?

Phillipians 2:14-15a (TNIV)
"Do everything without grumbling or arguing,
so that you may become blameless and pure,
children of God without fault ... "

When pressures mount and fatigue sets in, I have grumbled and mumbled about the work I have to do. Sometimes, I am also tempted to think that others should have made my work easier!

"If only they're more considerate and arrange these forms sequentially before passing the mess to me, then I will be able to work faster!"

"If only they would read the given instructions first, then they would'nt need to clarify with me thus wasting my time!"

If only, if only ... if only everyone does what he/she is supposed to do, then there will be peace on earth and mankind shall dwell in unity, amen. But life is never so easy eh?

Have you ever wondered why you are paid to do your job?

You are paid to provide SOLUTIONS, not to create more PROBLEMS.

Think about it, if you allow yourself to react to problems all the time instead of being proactive, you'll soon develop a destructive work attitude and pattern that will affect your performance. Your job will seem harder and you won't enjoy it. However, if you try to understand the perspectives of others and try to solve their problems, then you'll truly be contributing and will feel a sense of accomplishment.

I've been thinking, the onus to be positive or negative at work lies with me. For example, if I loose my temper, the TRUTH is that I've chosen to do so. The other party doesn't have the power to make me loose my temper if I don't want to.

Since the choice is mine, I am bent on handling myself more professionally at work. I shall not let annoying people get the better of me and unconsciously degenerate into a disgruntled inept. Yes, be slow to anger, take things in my strides, plan, organize and pre-empt so that I can discharge my duties more efficiently.

Solve problems. It is for this purpose that you and I are employed. :)

11.11.08

I Don't Care What You Know Till I Know You Care!

If you are a teacher, how do you get ‘attention deficit’ (that is, IF they are really ADD) children or teenagers to listen to you? They simply don't care!

The most challenging classes to teach in Singapore would be the Normal Stream (Technical) classes. When I did relief teaching some years back, I was often asked to relieve teachers of NT classes who seemed to be frequently away on sick leave. What (or WHO) were they 'sicked of '?

Faced with about 30 boisterous and uninterested students bent on nothing but annoying you, how do you get their attention?


Ah, my present work somehow brings back memories of the time when I was doing relief teaching. Good and bad memories, successes and failures. Allow me to share some meaningful moments with you eh?

Hm ... this happened many years back, I remember staring at them and groaning inside, “Who are your parents? Why are you so angry? Why come to school, wasting time and resources if you don't want to study?”

I tried to be tough, it was tiring. Then an idea hit me and I decided to experiment with it.

One day I said to them, “I want you to write an essay."


They were like, "Gasp, you must be joking."

"The title of your essay is, “I, Me and Myself”. They got interested.

"You see, I was a Probation Officer, and you people reminded me of the defendants whose cases I’d to process. Most of them came from very complicated family backgrounds. Speaking of broken homes, I myself didn’t grow up happily." Silence fell.

"I’m curious to know more about you. Share with me about your family, yourself, what makes you happy, what makes you sad and what’s your ambition? Write anything you want about yourself. While I may not be able to provide solutions to your problems, I will at least be able to listen to you, and perhaps offer some suggestions and advice which you are free to accept or reject. Your story is safe with me, I will not tell others about your problems.”

Guess what happened next?


Cautiously, some began to pull out their A4 notepads and started writing. Then, those without papers didn't want to be left out and started begging, borrowing or snatching pieces of paper from their neighbours! Soon, the whole class was engrossed in writing! The transformation was striking! They wanted so much to tell their stories!

Then, I was quite amused when the Principal passed by and was amazed at this unbelievable sight of NT students resolutely scribbling away! Heh heh heh ... This class had never been quieter.

Occasionally someone would raise his hand and asked, “Teacher, how do you spell ‘angry’?” I spelt it out on the board for all to see and use if required. Another called out, “Teacher, how to spell ‘family’?” I wrote on the board again. Before the two sessions were over, the board was filled with words from left to right. “Hmm, not a bad way to teach English” I thought.

I spent the next 5 days (at least) marking their essays, not stumped by their poor standard of English, but floored by the problems they revealed!

... One girl wrote a 4 page essay on her family problems, highlighting her misconceived guilt that she had accidentally caused the death of her granny when she was, but a little girl.

... Another girl lamented her parents’ divorce and feared that she would eventually forget how her natural father looks like one day.
... One boy penned down his hatred against his dad and how he would rather spend the nights hanging out with friends than staying home with him.
... Another boy wrote of his experiments with different kinds of drugs, and another of his bisexual inclinations
... etc…

Their stories overwhelmed me. I replied each one in detail, giving encouragement when encouragement was due, and advice when advice was due. Some of my painstaking replies were longer than their essays.

All eyes were fixed on me the next time I entered the same class. I returned their essays with my type-written responses. Thus, they spent another session quietly with me, as they carefully poured over my replies. Then (surpirse, surprise, I was quite amused) they started exchanging and reading each other’s essay/reply. "Hey, that's confidential" I thought, but I didn't stop them 'cos it was their prerogative to share their stories.

Then in the days that followed, our relationship improved. When I requested them to keep quiet in class, they obeyed. When I attempted to teach them, they listened. A few even came to me individually to discuss personal troubles and sought advice.

I'll never forget this girl ...

She ran away from home after hearing her mother's damaging insults. When her friend brought her to me, I'd only 10 minutes to talk to her! I really didn’t know what to say and how to comfort her. I prayed silently and urgently in my heart as I fumbled around for a word in season.

Then God’s wisdom guided me as I earnestly spoke from my heart on how I had always felt positively about her, and thank God, what I’d said in those 10 minutes redressed what her mom had said earlier. It was like magic! Her countenance shone and her eyes sparkled! She smiled appreciatively. I perceived that she'd regained her confidence that moment!

The next time I met her, one of her eyes was bloodshot after a hard slap from her mom! I was shocked! How could anyone do this to her own flesh and blood? I listened to her story for an hour, not because she'd asked for it, but because I knew she needed the support. She assured me that she'd managed to stay calm this time and didn’t run away from home. She had learnt resilience.


Well, well, well, what else can I say?

Sometimes, what we need is someone to come alongside us once in a while, to tell us that we are worthy. Being loved and cared for is the greatest motivation to succeed in anything we do.


Teaching is an emotionally draining job. I salute all teachers out there who are committed to their teaching profession. My best wishes to you teachers, and oh, make sure you have sufficient insurance coverage for all types of illnesses.

8.11.08

You Are Special

Are you discouraged by your flaws and wonder whether you are of any good to anyone?

I want to tell you that your Creator knows your flaws and love you all the same. In fact, He has a meaningful plan for your life!

Jeremiah 29:11 (TNIV)
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

THE CRACKED POT

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfectly made and never leaked. The other pot had a crack in it and by the time the water bearer reached his master's house it had leaked much of it's water and was only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, God will use our flaws to grace his table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. Don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness we find our strength.

Author Unknown


3.11.08

We All Need A Little Encouragement Once In A While!

A few days' back, I posted the following message in Blogger Discussion Group; The Coffee Shop:
"Hi, I'm blogging for the first time. Here's my blog www.daysofourlives-jane.blogspot.com . Would like to make friends with like-minded people. Do drop me a note. Thanks. :) "

... and was pleasantly surprised to see responses from fellow bloggers from different parts of the world!

AV from http://netherregionoftheearthii.blogspot.com/ and http://tomusarcanum.blogspot.com/ wrote: "Well written blog, enjoyed the stories about making money."

Michael from http://doyouhateittoo.blogspot.com/ wrote: "Days of our Lives is a good, good soap. Nice blog. =D"

Croutons from http://croutonsblog.blogspot.com/ wrote: "Greetings blogger with the artistry to compose such a harmonious blog pleasing to the eye and worth a read. Reading it was deep and provocative and made me reflect on my own situations with the topics you wrote about, like motivations and having people want to listen to you. The look of the blog itself is professionally put together even just for a hobby, it looks better than most websites. Nice, I will be looking forward to reading more new posts."

Jessa from http://jessicalikestoexist.blogspot.com wrote: "Welcome jane. I checked out your blog, and left a comment. I can't wait to read more of your posts."

I replied to all: "Thank you AV, Michael, Croutons and Jessah! I've had a hard time finding this thread after I first posted here, thus the late reply. Thanks for the encouragement."

To return the favour, I visited all their blogs. Interesting read. They came from such diverse backgrounds! We connected, but for a moment due to our common interest - blogging. Hm, such is the power of the internet, connecting people who have never met, and perhaps, will never meet.


Dear fellow bloggers, your simple act of kindness and encouragement is acknowledged and received with gratitude. Thank you very much. :)

1.11.08

Seasoned Speech - Get The Response You Want

One well-meaning lady was trying to advise her colleague to improve on something. She criticized her loudly at the office without trying to listen first. The results? Tension and bad vibes.

Have you ever been frustrated with conversations that seemed to get nowhere? Or ever wondered how to get people to listen to and accept your ideas, advice or suggestions?

How do you get the response you want and get people to do your biddings?

By knowing exactly what motivates them, and phrase your speech in such a way that they WANT to listen to you! {This, incidentally, is what marketing is all about too. ;) }

But different folks, different strokes. You'll have to speak differently to different people in order to get the same response you want. Ok, story time ...

When the Titantic was sinking and there were few lifeboats available, the captain had to think of ingenious ways to get able-bodied men to volunteer to jump overboard. Quickly, he scanned the ship and saw men from different countries.

Being a man of seasoned speech and great wisdom, he persuaded, "Guys, we have limited number of lifeboats and I suggest that we reserve them for the ladies, the old and the frail. Will good and gracious gentlemen volunteer to jump overboard, please?" What happened next? All the dignified British gentlemen jumped into the sea.

Then shifting his focus to the rest, the captain said, "We need heroes to jump too!" And all the hot-blooded American men jumped off courageously.

The captain continued, "No, this won't do, we need MORE to jump. I'll need to enforce a new rule in the ship for the good of all. Ok, obey the rule, I want you to jump!" All the German men responded dutifully.

Then, looking at the Japanese men, the captain appealed, "I'll leave you to determine by consensus, to jump or not to jump for your family's sake..." The Japanese discussed animatedly among themselves and by a majority vote, jumped off the ship in unity.

With most men overboard, the captain finally worked his way down to the last group of men, his ultimate challenge - Singaporeans! "Oh boy ..." Stumped and scratching his head, he wondered what would motivate them? Then struck by sudden brillance, he announced, "Ooi, free life-jackets for those who jump!" Guess what? They clamoured to form a queue, and jumped happily as they put on their free gift!

See? Know who you're speaking to, what motivates them, and speak to them accordingly.

Having said all these, of course, I'm assuming that you'll want to help others out, and not try to manipulate others into doing your biddings huh? :)

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29 TNIV)