Following my last post, I am very touched by online friends, both believers and pre-believers who have dropped by to encourage and nudge me on this Christian journey.
What I'm doing now is working and praying through the "7 Steps to Freedom in Christ" by Neil Anderson, author of the book entitles "The Bondage Breaker".
After spending 51 years on earth, and coming from a Chinese Taoist background, growing up in a dysfunctional foster home, fighting with my foster mom for the most part of my life, and being the highly subjective and overly-sensitive person that I'm, I have too many baggages and issues to unload. I came to Christ at age 14, backslid for the next 5 years, then returned to Christ at age 19 till now. For the most part of my Christian life, I was more of a pain in the neck than a pious Christian. I find it very hard to completely surrender my life and will to God, I want God but I also want to retain some personal space to manoeuvre my own goals and desires.
But God has been kind, understanding and patient with me. He didn't flick me out of this Universe considering the countless times I've let Him down, but have blessed me instead in so many ways. One major lesson I've learnt so far is that God allows failures and can use them for our good. There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God.
I've also discovered during my blogging experience that the unity in the Spirit among Christians is so real. And this unity transcends across race, culture, time and countries. After my last post, 3 online sisters from different parts of America wrote in to encourage me and what impresses me is that what they said confirmed the words I'd received from local believers praying over me and direct counsels/insights from God received during my personal prayer time. So God is very real indeed. He draws near to those who believes He exists and seeks Him.
At age 51, I'm still learning to turn over my life completely to Him, putting everything that's important to me, namely; my family, job, will etc. on the altar and believing that He will do nothing to hurt me and will not lead me to places where His grace cannot sustain me. I'm beginning to appreciate that if I can totally place myself in His palm, that is, in the center of His will, I will finally get a taste of heaven on earth. And that is what I'm working towards. Or rather, this is what God is doing in my life.
Hope the above makes sense to you. May God's peace be with you all. :)