What Is True Forgiveness?

What is true forgiveness? This is the tiltle of a booklet from The Discovery Series: "Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood subjects in the Bible. In this excerpt of his book Forgiveness, author Gary Inrig shares insights from Scripture to help those who are wrestling with the inability or unwillingness to forgive or to admit the need to be forgiven. Discover how you can develop a heart of true forgiveness when you rely on God’s power rather than your emotions in dealing with situations of offense".

You can read its PDF format here.

I was reading this book 3 days' back and learnt a new thing or two about forgiveness. Among the interesting lessons taught are these:

• Just because you're hurt doesn't mean that the other party needs to repent because repentance deals with sins and the other party may not have sinned against you. You can be hurt for various reasons, you could be jealous or annoyed etc. but what the other person has done does not tantamount to a sin. In this case, you'll just have to deal with it yourself, not so much as forgiving the other party but forbearing the other party.
• Jesus was quoted in Luke 17, "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him." So after ascertaining that indeed the other party has sinned against you, the first biblical thing to do is to 'rebuke' him, meaning confront him with his offense, and if he repents, then forgive him.
• When I read the 'IF he repents', you know, the IF, I was like, yay, so there's a loop-hole, you mean I can choose not to forgive? No, that wasn't what the book teaches, it emphasized that God would want us to forgive no matter what. It also cautions about the type of attitude we should adopt when we 'confront' the other party about his offence. I'm glad it also recognises the fact that usually people won't admit their mistakes and draws references from the Old Testament Proverbs about the consequences of rebuking a wise man and a fool.
• A very interesting thought here is that God's Word says that if someone sins against you seven times and comes back to you to repent, you're supposed to forgive him again and again. The interesting part is about the possiblility for someone to sin against you and repenting again and again, I mean really recognising his mistake again and again and yet sinning again and again. The author points out that God knows our nature and deal with us in the same way too, forgiving us again and again...

Anyway, I've a better understanding on this topic now and wish to share my blessing with you, come on read it up! Click on the link above! :)

Don't Give Up On Your Child

This is a must watch for parents with autistic children.

Can-Do Attitude

While touring a street in Mong Kok, Hong Kong, we came across this young man with no hands, eking out a living making stalks of 'flowers' from coloured dough. (Apology for the blurred-photo taken from my mobile.)

We went to Mong Kok expecting to see all sorts of merchandise, but was pleasantly surprised to find street troupes performing songs, dance and kung fu. What caught my attention were three individuals; this young man selling dough flowers, a man with terrible scarred facial features and a very old woman begging for alms.

We stopped by all three of them...

We the fortunate ones toured the different places in a different world (Hong Kong and Macau), enjoyed its sceneries and savoured its delicacies. Busy town folks as we are, I often paused to plan the various chores I've had to do once I return home. Ever the anxious woman that I am, I sometimes worry over self-imposed dead lines and 'urgent' tasks left at home. The sight of these three individuals halt my worries.

Who would have more woes than them? Without hands, without a face, without financial support, disregarding one's dignity and literally begging for help in the cold wintry weather? Many people were too busy to stop and look, perhaps it's a common sight for the locals. Yet their presence is a stark contrast to whatever we're planning and doing. Despite their circumstances, they have a choice, to survive or give up and die, of course they choose the former.

The young man wasn't begging, and a few were moved to give to him for his effort. But I saw no one giving to the disfigured man, he was really disgusted to look at and seemed to come straight out of a sci-fi movie, and no one gave to the old lady... We gave and my son consoled the disfigured man who identified himself as a Christian. I wonder whether he was a Christian before or after his accident? Anyway, as long as he is a Christian, I believe that God will watch over him one way or another and I wish sincerely that God will help him further...

Seeing other's misfortunes, I checked myself again, don't worry about life and its chores. How hard can our life be compared to them? Have a can-do attitude in life, no matter how hard or pressing circumstances are, there are still things we can do to help ourselves and things will work out one way or another. For us the children of God we have the added blessing of God's faithfulness.

Make Me A Child Again

Dear Heavenly Father, I remember when I first met you as Jesus, it was your smile and unconditional love which drew me to you. I desired the peace and security found only in You.

As I grew I went back and forth in my faith, but You had proven Yourself Faithful. You'd met all my needs and was there whenever I needed you.

I'd learnt from You, through my obedience and disobedience, through the things I'd done right and things I'd messed up. But You have been forever merciful.

Your compassion never fail.

I am very sorry about my confusion now, happening deep inside my soul. The various doctrines I've encountered, the different stance each Church adopts, the way some believers walk their talk, and worst of all, my own failings, the inability to love without fear for perfect love casts out fear, but I fear and withdrew my love. I would rather live a peaceful life now than to risk being hurt again. I am not at all like You, it seems, though I know I'm made in Your image, though I know that the seeds of the fruit of the Spirit have been planted in me long ago...

Father, how I long to return to the time when I first knew You, when life was less complicated, when I simply believed... A childlike faith, how precious that is! Make me a child again Lord, restore me to Your peace and security.

Thankfulness

I'm thankful that I can wake up in the morning and be able to get out of bed, thankful that I can still see ('cos I've got glaucoma), thankful that I can still move ('cos my mother-in-law can't)...

I'm thankful for my job, it's just across the road, near and convenient, it's simple yet challenging in its own right, stimulating and creative, and it pays a decent income (good enough for me).

I'm thankful for my spouse, he's great, ever so loving and kind to me and our kids.

I'm thankful for my kids, both fully grown (by the grace and mercy of God) in body, mind and spirit. They are my ever source of contention and joy.

I'm thankful for my foster mom, for her salvation and her help in my life.

I'm thankful for my mother-in-law for being the ever understanding elder, even now, despite her illness.

I'm thankful for each new day, all the time left in the days of my live, may I cherish them all and not take a single day for granted...

How Long Have You REALLY Lived?

Surveys have been done on this, adding up the amount of time an average guy spends in his lifetime studying, working, watching TV, waiting in queue, waiting at the traffic light, eating, sleeping etc. and finding out actually how much time he's really awake and living meaningfully.

Recently I find myself mulling over the same thing over and over again, so much so that I'm plagued by those thoughts even in my dreams. It's about things that had happened in the past.

Then it dawns on me how much time I've spent (wasted) living in the past instead of cherishing the present. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

Yes, like the determined orang utan in the picture, I shall live in the present from now on!

A Teacher

A Parenting Incident

About 22 years’ ago, while sitting on the couch, I stood my younger son who was about 2 years of age between my knees and decided that it was time to introduce God to him.

“Hmm, how shall I explain an invisible God to him and His relationship with us?” I thought.

“Yong, mommy is going to tell you about Somebody ok?” He looked at me with his trademark puzzled but very adorable look.

“There is Someone you’ve got to know dear and His name is God. Now God loves you more than mommy does. You know, although mommy gave birth to you, God was actually the One who made you inside me. God is great and He has made you wonderfully.”

“Look, see how good you are?” I touched his shoulders and asked him to look at himself. Then I continued, “See you can turn your head left and right!”

I really didn’t know how to explain better and thought my example was rather lame. I also thought that he must be quite lost with what I’d said or would rather go play with his toys. But he didn’t pull away from me…

Instead, my little boy started turning his head from left and right very slowly as if he was turning his head for the first time. Then he marveled at his ability and announced, “Mommy, look… I can turn my head!”

This episode brings a smile to my face every time I think about it. My younger son has grown into a strong young man of 23 but I will always remember the fascinated look on his face that day. Something special happened to him that day. Something registered in his young heart. Was it self-awareness that he was fearfully and wonderfully made by his Creator? I don't know but I believe my boy had experienced his first touch from the Lord that day, and is still experiencing Him today.

I thank God for both of my sons who have brought us so much blessings. :)

The Cycle Of Life

I see the frustration and bewilderment on my mother-in-law's face as she lies helplessly in the hospital bed. This once active lady can barely move now, but her sharp intellect remains intact which actually add to her woes as she can think but can't do as she pleases, but relies heavily on the mercy of others around her. Although her family rallies around her, she can't help but feels useless and depressed.

Flipping through some old photos, I'm reminded of her happier times. A time when "Ye Ye" (my father-in-law) was around.

As I watch her suffer, I begin to worry about my turn to grow old and infirmed.

Once my elder son said, "Mom you're looking older in your photos."
"Of course" I replied, "If I don't grow old, you won't grow up!"

Such is the cycle of life.

My mother-in-law spent her entire life serving her family and placing every member's needs above hers. She has been the pivotal point in her family and there will surely be emptiness in her children's lives when she passes on. But such is the cycle of life, we raise our families, our children keeps us busy, give us meaning and continues our lives even after we are gone. Our children continue our lives because a part of us lives in them.

Yes, life continues and we don't have to worry about the future because Jesus specifically told us not to.

What's God's Will For You?

Many Christians get stressed over finding the will of God.

There are 2 main schools of thought about the will of God:
(1) I don’t do anything in my life without God’s guidance.
(2) I don’t expect God’s guidance until I move.

Pastor Paul Scanlon (the founder of Abundant Life Ministries, UK) said that when seeking God’s will, it is not about praying whether you should choose choice A or choice B, or turning left or right. Regardless of which way you choose, God will bless your decision just like what He did for Abraham, whichever way he chose to go, up the hills or down the plains, God would have blessed him. And God would rather you made a wrong choice than no choice at all. God is drawn to movement. The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, though he falls, he shall not be cast down, for the Lord upholds him in His hands.

Pastor Paul Scanlon had more to say about God’s will…

Don’t get stressed-out over God’s will because His will is not miserable. Check out the general direction you would like to go and go with a sense of peace. Get your life in motion and God will direct you. Abraham didn’t know where he was going, but he was in the will of God and all he knew was that he had to leave. If all you know is you’re to leave something, that is enough to start, to create steps in knowing the will of God.

God has given each of you a GPS; your heart, your compass, listen to it, keep moving but don’t be stressed, pay attention to your passions and leanings.

In Old Testament (OT) time, God was with people but not in them, so people needed the prophets and priests to tell them what to do. They had to follow external things for God’s guidance, such as the pillar of cloud and the pillar of fire. The presence of God was in the Ark.

In New Testament (NT) time, the physical temple was gone. You’re the temple, God lives in you and He doesn’t move out when He doesn’t like you. The presence of God dwells in you. When you’re there, God is there, although how much you allow Him in your life is up to you.

An OT mindset keeps people small, but we are NT people. Do not under value yourself, do not say that “Toronto has the move of God” or other places have the move of God, God also moves where you are.

When you launch a rocket to the moon, all you have to do is to aim it at a general direction to the moon. There is a device in the rocket, some kind of a GPS system that will only kick into action after the rocket is set in motion. Before launching, when the rocket sits still, it does not work. It begins to work only after the rocket is launched and flies towards the moon.

The will of God is not a tight-rope where you may fall off. You’ve got God inside you, when you’re seeking a direction from Him, look inside you and make a decision on what to do, and do it by faith. We don’t need to spiritualize things, sometimes the will of God is like common sense. Non Christians are living better lives than us because of common sense.

Have you experienced a déjà vu (the experience of thinking that a new situation has occurred before)? If you don’t have the dejavu inclinations, nudging to do something, or to go somewhere, then it is most probably not God’s will for you.

Why? Because God is Omniscience, He knows your entire life. He knows your end and has prepared you for the journey there. He writes your life-story from the last page, and put things in the earlier pages to prepare and direct you to the end. That’s the reason why you have the inclinations to do certain things. You’re wired that way.

Parents, don’t force your children to do something that is not what God has wired them to do. “Train a child in the way he should go”. Expose them to the risk of failing.

If your heart is for God, listen to it, take the risk to be yourself and you will find the good works He has prepared for you to do.