Remembering Her

The elder daughter woke up in the night shouting, “Mother! Mother!”

The younger daughter walked straight into her mother’s room as if she was still alive and called out, “Mother!” She lingered inside and called again, “Mother!” as her relatives waited outside worrying if she had gone nuts.

Yes, my two sister-in-laws are still grieving over the lost of their beloved mother, my mother-in-law who had passed away a fortnight ago.

Though not as affected, I too try to recapture some memories of her. How she'd touched my foot after I’d given birth to her first grandson. How she’d listened to my troubles and counseled me after my mom’s stroke and how she’d watched over me when I’d food poisoning (and that was immediately after she'd buried her husband).

I remember her as a loving mother. She was like forever fussing over her children and their families. Sometimes in expressing, repeating and reiterating her concerns for them, her words and actions came across as interference and weren’t appreciated, but yet, greatly missed when she’s gone.

I remember her forbearance, how she took the offences of her children in her strides and never ceased to love them and be of service to them.

One question came to mind as I ponder over her life and deeds. Were all her aspirations for her children met and fulfilled? Like a seed fallen into the ground and died, and then it’ll germinate and grow to bear fruits, I feel that though she couldn’t see her hopes materializing in her lifetime, some of what she’d hoped for may take place after her death. But then... some of what she’d hoped for may never happen... Still all things should work together for good as God is in control.

Another thought came to my mind too. She had led an exemplary life in terms of her deeds, love, kindness and forbearance towards her family and some others etc. Yet she'd seldom received the kind of attention she deserved in her life's time. And in her last days, she didn't get the kind of attention that she herself had showered upon her ailing spouse before his death. I felt that she'd been short-changed in life, even if this had been what she would have accepted 'cos she had always downplay her own welfare and asked us not to fuss over her if she should go...

I try to see her death in perspective but sometimes I can’t help but feel sad about life itself. Life seems so futile. You labored all your life over your loved ones. How much do they perceive of your work? They’ll miss you when you’re gone, for a while and you’ll be forgotten. The only comforting thought in the midst of all these is the fact that Jesus has saved us and death is a release from life’s labors.

So these are my just random thoughts... at least we have God.

Till We Meet Again

Some days' back I'd posted a note that my mom-in-law was ailing. Just like to add here that she has gone home to the Lord. Just want to say here that I've lost a friend, a confidante, a life's guide, someone whom I'd looked up to and tried to emulate. She's an ordinary housewife, but her acts of kindness and tolerance had over the years touched many many lives including mine. I respect her and... I miss her, her children will find it hard to fill the void in their hearts. Yes, but despite this I know she is now safe and secure in God's arms, she's finally free from her sickness and pain, and I truly believe, we'll see her again in heaven. It is indeed a happy thought that when my turn comes, she'll be there to greet me along with Jesus. And thank God for the big reunion when it comes. :)

Forsake Us Not

I have no idea what the lyrics in one of our church's communion songs mean until I see what's happening to my mother-in-law, whom in her old age and sickness, has no recollection of who we, her kinsmen are. One part of the lyrics goes something like this, "And when these failing lips grow dumb, and mind and memory flee ... my Lord, remember me." Despite her illness, I still see God's grace in her life.

Some days' back I whispered in her ears, 'Mother-in-law, how are you? I'm ST." She had no response. I continued, "Jesus is with you, every moment..." She nodded in acknowledgement. I stroke her shoulder a little and momentarily she seemed to recognise who I was, but that split-second of recognition subsided just as quickly as it arose and she slipped back into her dazed state.

A few days' before this she was asking her daughter who isn't a Christian what heaven is like and she couldn't answer. So I whispered to her, "You will see Jesus in heaven, father-in-law will be there for you, that is a place with no sickness, pain nor tears..." She didn't respond, her memory has certainly fled. But this I'm sure, God will remember her.

We are doing all we can to make her last days as comfortable as possible.

RSV Psalms 71:

Verse 6: "Upon thee I have leaned from my birth; thou art he who took me from my mother's womb. My praise is continually of thee."

Verse 9: "Do no cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent." Verse 17: "O God, from my youth thou hast taught me, and I still proclaim thy wondrous deeds. Verse 18: "So even to old age and grey hairs, O God, do not forsake me, till I proclaim thy might to all the generations to come."

Adopted

This is sooo funny!

(And it tugs at my heart's string...)

Hahaha...aww...

The Cycle Of Life

I see the frustration and bewilderment on my mother-in-law's face as she lies helplessly in the hospital bed. This once active lady can barely move now, but her sharp intellect remains intact which actually add to her woes as she can think but can't do as she pleases, but relies heavily on the mercy of others around her. Although her family rallies around her, she can't help but feels useless and depressed.

Flipping through some old photos, I'm reminded of her happier times. A time when "Ye Ye" (my father-in-law) was around.

As I watch her suffer, I begin to worry about my turn to grow old and infirmed.

Once my elder son said, "Mom you're looking older in your photos."
"Of course" I replied, "If I don't grow old, you won't grow up!"

Such is the cycle of life.

My mother-in-law spent her entire life serving her family and placing every member's needs above hers. She has been the pivotal point in her family and there will surely be emptiness in her children's lives when she passes on. But such is the cycle of life, we raise our families, our children keeps us busy, give us meaning and continues our lives even after we are gone. Our children continue our lives because a part of us lives in them.

Yes, life continues and we don't have to worry about the future because Jesus specifically told us not to.