28.10.11

Make Me A Child Again

Dear Heavenly Father, I remember when I first met you as Jesus, it was your smile and unconditional love which drew me to you. I desired the peace and security found only in You.

As I grew I went back and forth in my faith, but You had proven Yourself Faithful. You'd met all my needs and was there whenever I needed you.

I'd learnt from You, through my obedience and disobedience, through the things I'd done right and things I'd messed up. But You have been forever merciful.

Your compassion never fail.

I am very sorry about my confusion now, happening deep inside my soul. The various doctrines I've encountered, the different stance each Church adopts, the way some believers walk their talk, and worst of all, my own failings, the inability to love without fear for perfect love casts out fear, but I fear and withdrew my love. I would rather live a peaceful life now than to risk being hurt again. I am not at all like You, it seems, though I know I'm made in Your image, though I know that the seeds of the fruit of the Spirit have been planted in me long ago...

Father, how I long to return to the time when I first knew You, when life was less complicated, when I simply believed... A childlike faith, how precious that is! Make me a child again Lord, restore me to Your peace and security.